Jokes at iPlayWorld!

From:
The Friar's Club Encyclopedia of Jokes
By: H. Aaron Cohl

Psychiatrist hotline voice messaging system:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.  Just stay on the line till we can trace the call.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press -- no one will answer.

From: The Mammoth Book of Humor
By: Geoff Tibballs

A man went inot a drug store and asked the pharmacist if he could give him something for the hiccups. Without warning , the pharmacist reached out and slapped the man hard across the face.
"What did you do that for?" asked the man indignantly?
"Well you haven't got hiccups any more, have you?"
"I havn't got hiccups--my wife has!"

From: The Mammoth Book of Humor
By: Geoff Tibbals

It take six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this. -- Rita Rudner

From: The Funny Pages
By: Judy Brown

Acupuncture works on the principle of distraction. You're not going to feel the arthritis in your knee when someon's ramming a butterfly-specimen needle into the nape of your neck. It's the same reason your nose never itches when your angle is caught in a bear trap. -- Dennis Miller

From: The Funny Pages
By: Judy Brown