What we know about Osama Bin Laden is this: he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and twenty-size kids -- and he hates Americans for their 'excessive' lifestyle. - David Letterman
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel doesn't go nearly as well with pizza. -Dave Barry
I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and had to slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up real quick? -Mitch Hedberg
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