Somehow I suspect the fortune cookies would be a lot less popular if they had fortunes like this. I mean, let's face it: when you want to chow down on something yummy and fat -filled you don't reach for a bag of fortune cookies--you reach for those double-stuff Oreos and a glass of whole milk. Oh Yea----you know what I'm talking about!! ....er...ahem...anyway you may need that bag or Oreos when you read some of these depressing fortunes. "You have an ugly heart and are well despised" is not exactly the kind of thing you want to read after a double order of Chinese Vegetarian Szechuan Tofu and Spicy Mu Shu Pork.